Living with boys

Okay so questions I always get asked often is, “what’s it like in a house full of boys !?” "Is it like New Girl on Netflix" and "Must suck to be out numbered hu?" The list of questions goes on and on actually ...

SO here it goes....

I am engaged…to a man (its 2019 so pointing that out is important) and I’m raising two boys. One is 9 years old and one is 5 months old. Three boys with totally 3 different personality's and likes and dislikes. 

 

The rumors are true…

 

1. BOYS ARE GROSS

My 9-year-old is coming to this age where he stinks. Let me fucking tell you guys, he can shower after soccer practice ? and I shit you not…two hours later I’m back to smelling Doritos !! On top of it ? He leaves shit EVERYWHERE ! If I had a QUARTER for every time I said “Shoes go in the shoe rack” or “Hang that towel back up” I could own a small island.  My fiancé is no better ! He doesn’t have the same hygiene problem as my 9-year-old (thank god) but he can’t seem to put his dirty clothes….IN THE DIRTY CLOTHES HAMPER. (apparently the bedroom floor looks like a dirty clothes hamper, crazy right ?). Dylan is 4 months old, so he gets a pass at the whole being clean thing, but if he could cut it out with all the drool, and super gross poop explosions that would be great....

 (Imagine dark warm applesauce running down a baby's back...that's mom life)

He does laugh when he farts, so there's that

 

2. BOYS EAT LIKE NO OTHER

Adrian (my 9-year-old) can EAT !! He is not an unhealthy kid by any means and between his sports and his after school program he probably works up an appetite, BUT I have seen that boy slam a whole small pizza by HIMSELF. He is 9 so that’s pretty fucking impressive. Jose (my fiancé ) is the ultimate SNACKER !!! Candy’s, cookies, chips, Uncrustables, you name it. If it’s a snack, and it’s in our cabinet ? It stands no chance against my soon to be husband. Do you know how annoying it is to have to wash the sheets once a week because I’m laying in chip crumbs or there are food smudges on my comforter !?!? Dylan is 4 months and already has a hell of an appetite ! He eats 4-8 OZ every two hours. If his bottle falls out of his mouth for a second ?? He turns into that little red flaming baby from the Incredible Movie and the scream is glass shattering. Between the three (well 2.5) of them I’m lucky if I get a slice of pie or an ice cream cone before they are GONE.

 

3. BOYS WILL FOREVER PROTECT YOU

For a long time, it was just Adrian and me. Before I met Jose, it was just the two of us. Dating while being a single mom Is HARD. Dating while raising a momma’s boy is HARDER. I SHIT you not, this one time, him and I were at the market shopping and this man put his hand on my shoulder and Adrian gives him the “Ice Cube” mean mug and says, “DON’T touch my mom”. He was 5 ! I don’t know where he got that from and looking back on it ? I can’t help but laugh but at the time it wasn’t so funny.

If i look sad or tired for any reason Adrian is the first to pick up on it. "Mom why do you look sad ?" "Mom do you need help?". Yes he can be messy and stinky but when he seems i'm upset that kid will do anything to make me feel better. 

My fiancé is very protective over my feelings and I’m blessed he is. That man has NEVER, not once called me a disrespectful name when we fight. Never has he said, “you’re being a bitch” or “Fuck you” in an argument. We aren’t a Disney movie by any means, we FIGHT and let me tell you;  ya girl pushes buttons !  so his self-control amazes me! I’ve asked him why he doesn’t curse, and he says, “I would never want to make you feel bad about yourself based on a temporary feeling of anger, because those feelings stay with you forever” (AWEEEE)

I have days where I say things like “Ugh I’m so fat” or “why don’t I look like that ! She’s beautiful” Jose’s response usually is something funny like “Don’t talk about my wife like that”. Which automatically makes me shut my pie hole. The great thing about boys ? They watch you do you and understand you don’t need protection, BUT they stand behind you,  just in case

 

They will protect from everyone, Including yourself.

 

My boys are messy, stinky, ungrateful little shits BUT at the end of the day ? There’s no way in hell i can live without them.