Independently Committed

Do you know what absolutely pisses me off? What I hear that absolutely grinds my gears?
It pisses me the heck off when a woman plays victim to a situation she put herself in. For example; if you choose to be a stay at home wife why bitch and complain about that you must ask your husband for money every time you need some and you are bored at home all day? Get a fucking hobby! Get a fucking job! This isn’t the 1920's anymore!! Or if you started dating a man who is a drug user and you knew dam well he smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish before you met?… DON’T sit and cry every day about his “Bad habits” YOU chose this life! YOU knew what you were getting yourself into! Yes, so maybe you were hoping to change him or he promised he would be a better person for you. (Sometimes it happens!!!) BUT if it doesn’t? Don’t waste years of your life crying over the same fucking bullshit. You are no longer a victim! After a certain amount of time people STOP feeling sorry for you because your life is YOUR choice.  Your friends and family can only give you the same advice SO many times before they say fuck it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know every story is different BUT you have options!! You always have choices ladies. If you aren’t happy with something? CHANGE IT! You have a voice! a dam strong one might I add. YOU are the boss of your own life! NOT your parents or husband or boyfriend or baby daddy whom you love so much.
I am in a relationship and I am fully aware sometimes to make your relationship work you need to compromise, that's marriage, but DON’T make yourself miserable. Compromise sometimes, don’t give, give and give while getting nothing in return. Be what I like to call “Independently Committed.” What does that mean you ask? It means you are committed to your man, you are loyal, you bend over backward for him and take care of him as he does you. You are in a committed relationship who runs on teamwork! Say husband does kid drops off and you do pick up, the husband makes the kids breakfast and you’ve got dinner every night. etc. etc. Depend on your man! He needs to help too! He is your teammate, your business partner, your love, your other half.
Don’t become so dependent on him you lose yourself. Don’t become too dependent on him, you don’t know how to do these things yourself! If that means learning how to fix that gutter that keeps slipping out of place or learning unclog that pipe that the kids keep clogging that ruins bath time. Do it! Depend on yourself to have everything under control every when he’s not around!
My fiance is a huge help and I depend on him every single day! He takes my son to daycare every morning so I can get to work on time, he helps with the laundry and picking up around the house, he works as well, which helps with the bills. BUT if one day by he decides to not be around anymore?? These are all things I can figure out ALONE. I have solutions! like pay the sitter an extra hour and take him earlier, see if the child care facility does transportation, ask a family member for help. The list goes on and on. I am capable! I am NOT a victim!
Crying about him leaving me does not help myself OR my kids.